To empower queer women towards greater involvement and presence in the community
Advocacy for LBTQ women's rights at CEDAW
Sayoni was at the United Nations in Geneva in October 2017 to bring Singapore LBTQ women's issues to the forefront. The CEDAW Committee heard our concerns and raised recommendations related to LBTQ women in their Concluding Observations for the Singapore government.
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Step 3a
Attempt to discuss the movie with Mum and Dad ­– if you manage to catch it.

If there was no movie, go to Step 3b.

Step 3b
Bravely start your coming out speech to your parents in the car – or taxi, buses are not a good idea – while you are driving.

Note 2: I suggest saying it in the car because they can't avoid the topic; they are stuck with you and have to listen. The fact that you are the driver (or someone else is, in the case of a taxi) prevents accidents should Mum or Dad go into shock or become hysterical.

Step 4
Start by asking Dad to name your ex-girlfriends.

For example, "Dad, you do notice that I only bring girls home? The first was _______ (With pause here for Dad to fill in her name), the second _______, and…."

Note 3: It’s tough for Dad if you have many ex-girlfriends. This approach may only work for those with three girlfriends or less.

Step 5
Explain to Mum repeatedly that you can marry... but only to a woman, stressing that being lesbian is not about not getting married.

The conversation went like this for me:

“Mum, you do notice I don't have boyfriends but only girlfriends....”

“It's okay if you don't get married...”

“Mum, I'm saying I don't like boys! I only like girls!”

“It's okay. I know of friends or relatives whose daughters also are not married….”

“Mum! I only love WOMEN!”

“It's ok. You and your sister can take care of each other.”

“Mum! I can marry and hope to marry one day but I'll only marry a woman!”

“It's okay if you don't get married.”

“Mum, I'm saying I'm a lesbian! I only love women!”

“It's ok. My friend's five daughters are all not married too.”


Well, you may have better luck than me.

All the best in your coming out journey!

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