The Indignation Question

on . Posted in Events.

An observation that perplexes me at times:

What are the real needs of gay people? And how do we reach out to them?

———–

This was the third run of Indignation this year. As expected, it was highly anticipated and many activists and volunteers were preoccupied with its preparation and execution. There was a great variety of events being planned, and this time there was an improved �gender balance� in terms of the programs offered. There were also some landmark events, such as the kissing exhibition and a public sharing by 3 transsexuals. All in all, a very exciting two weeks indeed.

For most of the events I attended, the program ran smoothly without many hiccups and plenty of refreshments were provided. There were also many helpful volunteers on hand to distribute flyers, souvenirs and usher people to their seats. The topics covered in the events themselves were wisely chosen as they were pertinent and perhaps even taboo (yes even in the gay community itself!) and they were thoroughly discussed. In fact, there was a huge range in terms of programs offered: from forums, to dialogues to readings and film screenings. Indeed, there was much to learn through the sharing of people�s perspectives, their struggles and triumphs.

So I thought, isn�t this a great opportunity for gay people to look into a mirror and gather more insights about themselves and people like them? Why aren�t �hordes� of people, flocking to such events?

Sure, the turnouts have been large indeed. But I would estimate that 70% of the crowd�. are old-timers (i.e. repeat visitors from the previous Indignation, or active members of the various participating organizations in Indignation)

I don�t think publicity is a problem. Nope. Instead, the �bad press� we�re getting from �The Sewage Times� (as one fellow participant joked to me), is ironically creating tons of attention-grabbing publicity for us! Also, the emails on the mailing groups, e-advertisements etc. certainly have a wide reach encompassing thousands of people. I know of many gay friends who know of Indignation but choose not to attend. People seem to be aware, but not affected. As a result— It always seems that there is only a niche group of people who attend openly-gay events, despite publicity.

————

There could be many reasons why�

Firstly, many people prefer to live out their �gayness� in the closet. No need for them to attend pride season activities, wave the rainbow flag and immerse in deep contemplation of what it means to be gay with a whole auditorium of other queers (also all in deep thought). For them, perhaps the company of friends, family and closed ones are sufficient enough. Any queer-centric issues are easily figured out through the usage of the Internet. Or perhaps it�s even a non-issue for them. Gay means gay, lor. No need for them to� �Go out there�.

I�ve always thought this was the answer to our �re-run� turnouts. That despite big publicity, there were usually few new faces due to people�s lack of desire to attend. But there is a second reason.

Recently, I was speaking to a schoolmate of mine, and I asked her why she wasn�t coming. And she reasoned by stating, quite plainly, that when you boil the whole event down to its bare bones, its main function is that it is a social. That most people go to the events to mingle with others they know.

It might not be the main reason. But it definitely is a strong, often, the �turning-point� impetus for us to attend. Such events, underneath the official program structure, provided vast opportunities for people to interact intimately in a cozy setting, catch up with one another and stand around in little groups. Not saying that this is a bad thing per se. But it is something that inevitably develops in such small settings.

Hey, I�m guilty of doing these things too. And when she said that, I understood what she meant. And therefore� what it means for someone new. Someone who comes without �connections� inside the community, and without people to mingle with after the show is over. Perhaps for them, such events might be intimidating. If we are alone and lost, we tend to stick out like a sore thumb amongst all the cliques and chatty people. For some who choose not to come, perhaps the appeal of learning new perspectives is far out-shadowed by the prospect of facing the not-so-appealing social context etched into the event.

Thirdly, another reason she mentioned was the lack of interest in the events offered. And I was like �???? But everything applies to you!�. To which she said, �But. Gay-centric stuff is not my interest.�

Sometimes, oftentimes, I�d have to admit that most of us who attend such events… are a different �breed� of gay people. Perhaps there is a stronger sense of social activism or self-awareness of our queer-ness. That is why we are attracted to events or programs that are specifically targeted towards sexuality. It is a big issue, and focus, in our lives. Yet for other gay people, perhaps being gay is not a big issue inside of them. By �big�, I mean an issue which they actually channel time and energy to reflect over. Perhaps for some gay people, being �gay� only shows up when they fall in love, or have sex. But at other times, they are just like everyone else. For them, there is no need to ponder and dissect and pickle their brains over sexuality issues. It just� IS. Period. No need to consciously step out and discuss. Instead, they might be more interested in stuff like films and art. But gay-centric stuff? Nah�.

—————–

This again, brings me back to my first question. What do gay people really want and need?

Sometimes, as activists, we tend to think on a different level. Many of the programs we come up with tend to appeal to us (duh), but they might not necessarily appeal to the man on the ground. Perhaps that is why Indignation attracts a certain set of people. People like US. Us: meaning people who are already involved in the scene.

So how do we really reach out to the diverse world out there? And invite them through the doors of all these painstakingly-planned events? After all, we do this not for our own personal glorification, or as a cover-up means to have more �fun with our friends�. We do this because we have the community in mind. That we want to reach out to them, and hopefully add value and enrichment to their lives through the events that are planned. And at the same time, make a stand for being gay.

Because it�ll be a sad day if we find ourselves disconnected to the very people we seek to engage. Minority within a minority.

Indignation, anyone?

Maybe not everyone.

It is definitely difficult to ascertain what the community needs, due to the sheer diversity of personalities out there. Despite the fact that we�ll never hit the perfect formula, or cover the needs of every single gay person �. perhaps this is one question, we should never stop asking ourselves. Because in the process of asking, we can reflect, and we can improve. As I was writing this article, it dawned upon me that it was difficult to come up with concrete suggestions, or really pin down what gay people really need. Even the friend I spoke to had only one (her) opinion to offer, out of the many thousands of opinions out there.

But I guess, as a start, we can always increase our awareness of people�s needs, and ask the person next to us if they are coming for Indignation. And if not,

Why.

Comments   

# AAndrea 2010-02-02 01:22
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Andrea said,

August 6, 2007 at 4:22 pm

I do not profess to know what the gay community needs, but I do know what I feel. And I feel a bit irritated since the first draft of this post disappeared when I clicked on �post�.

There is the issue of how �out� someone is. Turning up for events may, by association, cause someone to be labeled as gay. That someone could be a member of the community, or perhaps a straight person. The straight person may fear being implicated by association. Moreover, my straight friends also noted that they are just not concerned about how gays lead their lives. They have their own lives to bother with.

There is also the so-what factor. After the events, we have (hopefully) gained insights. What happens then? Do we allow those insights to give us the warm and fuzzy feeling while we cower in our comfort zones, eagerly awaiting next year�s events to give us another hit of insight? Many are pessimistic about what the events truly achieve, and concrete achievement is a big deal in Singapore (apparently). What happens after the talk to a 70% regular crowd?

This is similar to what my design teacher said about my poster: It has nice pictures and creates awareness for the issue, but doesn�t tell people what to do about it. I know that people hate to be told what to do/think. I also know that disempowerment is often as much from oppression as it is from repression. Perhaps these issues can be combined. Something like relating what worked/didn�t work, what failed/succeeded and what is planned for the future. It helps not only life within the gay context, but within the larger social context. Just something to inform non-activist people about what has been done and can be done, and what they can do to help out. An example would be what really ticks off the MDA and efforts towards persuading them to be more accepting, or failing that, to adjust events to circumvent these bones of contention.

I am not entirely sure if that�s what the community as a whole really needs, but it�s worth giving it a shot.
Reply
# al 2010-02-02 01:23
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al said,

August 7, 2007 at 12:38 am

Ah, good post. I was just pondering privately on this topic, prompted by a friend who expressed sentiments to the effect that being queer need not be bandied about and that gay events make no difference in the long run.

I actually expected myself to be rather negative about the impact of Indignation or lack of it on the country as a whole, but I found myself saying instead that I will carry memories of it in my heart, and perhaps that alone is real enough for me. However, I also feel rather strongly that it’s difficult for someone (me, yes…) who isn’t sure of their position vis a vis the queer community to fully feel part of these events. From a position on the fringe, if I put on the shoes of an asexual or heterosexual person who simply is there to support the community, how could the dominant sensation be anything other than alienation?

But I must note that I’m seeing this scenario in opposition to a loud outdoors Pride march where the principal note is celebration. It’s simply too much to ask of a relatively small gathering of people.

On a practical note, I’m sure the location of the venue of most events doesn’t help either. Of those of us who don’t drive, how many would be willing to trudge all the way down to 72-13 — not to disparage the place, it’s beautiful, and I’m very grateful — after a hard day’s work, especially not alone in the dark, to see people you absolutely don’t know a thing about? Not likely, in my opinion. And oh dear, am I concluding that the creation of a niche audience is inevitable?

Anyway, I don’t mean to foster pessimism, and I have enjoyed myself as well. But I do hope to see real, honest discussion of this issue.
Reply
# KKelly 2010-02-02 01:23
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Kelly said,

August 7, 2007 at 12:58 am

It’s good to see this issue being discussed openly. I have wondered the same thing myself. The media certainly plays a big role in getting the word out and so does the accessibility of the location.

In any case, I would like to hear constructive suggestions about what people would like to attend at an Indignation event.

I would also like to hear from people who can offer to help make it better.
Reply
# KiWeTO 2010-02-02 01:23
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KiWeTO said,

August 7, 2007 at 10:31 am

One way of looking at it, yes, we all are very shy creatures.

At the end of the day, most people will not attend a party or event if we don’t know anyone there or was invited by someone who is going. We all have our limitations and fear of embarassment.

personally, I’m not terribly into attending events. Introverts by nature don’t like socials ;-) and I’m about to lose 3 wisdom teeth today, so that’s been occupying the mind too.

Another reason could be the lack of pre-publicity. Events do have to try to be broadcasted earlier, not a month(or less?) before they occur… but yes, I also understand that its terribly difficult to get organizers/participants to think that far ahead due to all kinds of reasons.

Oh well. Depends on what we define as an Indig Nation. ;-)

E.o.M.
Reply
# AAkikonomu 2010-02-02 01:23
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Akikonomu said,

August 7, 2007 at 10:26 pm

Firstly, many people prefer to live out their �gayness� in the closet. No need for them to attend pride season activities, wave the rainbow flag and immerse in deep contemplation of what it means to be gay with a whole auditorium of other queers (also all in deep thought).

It’s very difficult to want to attend a series of events, to share time with niche audiences and organisers who feel that all gay people who don’t want to attend pride events must obviously be closetted. In your universe, it is impossible to be a well-adjusted gay person who isn’t interested in activism, and doesn’t define their self solely through that sexuality label – so I’d rather stay away and not spoil your social occasion instead.
Reply
# Sharn 2010-02-02 01:23
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Sharn said,

August 7, 2007 at 10:26 pm

my opinion is that the stumbling block is Coming Out. perhaps when a critical mass has conquered the personal battles, then more of us would see the usefulness of tackling the common ones.

e.g. we could start fun roleplaying courses on how to come out.
Reply
# Jjanice 2010-02-02 01:24
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janice said,

August 8, 2007 at 12:12 am

Akikonomu, there is no need to be so bitchy…..author is just sharing her opinion and not forcing it down your throat though i think you would really like that idea.

I agree with Sharn. I think the stumbling block is Coming Out.
Reply
# Kris 2010-02-02 01:24
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Kris said,

August 8, 2007 at 12:17 am

I suppose the issue of attending IndigNation events alone is a consideration to a fairly large number of people.

To recount, I attended the launch of SQ21 on the invitation of a dear friend who was featured in the book. I was early and prior to his arrival, I sat alone in a corner doing a Sudoku puzzle as I do not know the other people there, and there was no way I could change from an introvert to a social butterfly at the click of a finger, and start talking to strangers (or rather, groups of strangers).

I attended two events for IndigNation 2006, again on invitation of the same friend stated above. I enjoyed the events, but would likely have skipped them if I had to go alone.

As for the current IndigNation, besides the issues of having company (or not) and interests (or lack thereof) in the line-up of events, there is also the more fundamental concern of being out of a job and having to look for new means of survival.

I suppose to those who are struggling with more pressing bread-and-butter issues further down Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, larger issues affecting the greater community may have to take a backseat for the time being….
Reply
# Kkarel 2010-02-02 01:24
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karel said,

August 8, 2007 at 2:24 am

Some straight, queer-friendly people I know don’t see how pride season is relevant to them…they’re looking for ’something in it for them’, I think.

I think it’s partly a coming-out thing that keeps some closetted queer people from going to glbt events- not just Indignation. Events are recorded, filmed, photographed, and some may find this an issue. The people who go do seem mostly well-adjusted, accustomed and open to meeting strangers- and familiar with each other.

Akikonomu said:
It�s very difficult to want to attend a series of events, to share time with niche audiences and organisers who feel that all gay people who don�t want to attend pride events must obviously be closetted. In your universe, it is impossible to be a well-adjusted gay person who isn�t interested in activism, and doesn�t define their self solely through that sexuality label – so I�d rather stay away and not spoil your social occasion instead.

Maybe activists should ask themselves if they think this way of closetted people.

Also, is it a duty for queer people to attend pride events? One can encourage them to…but it’s really their personal choice, and their lives…we can befriend them and reach out to them, but in the end it’s perfectly okay to come out at one’s own pace.
Reply
# al 2010-02-02 01:24
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al said,

August 8, 2007 at 9:36 am

I think the paragraph is more about the “gay is gay lor” argument than being in the closet. After all, being out to family and friends is not exactly being closeted. And the “closed ones” should be an unfortunate typo…. ^^;

Karel is right in that it should not be an obligation. It’s just that there is some amount of pressure on activists to consider why more people do not go and this manifests in a troubleshooting approach, IMO. The desire or even obligation to attend is a very personal choice.

But I’d like to know why there isn’t more interest in the arts community. Is it really the association of participation with coming out as queer?
Reply
# Denny 2010-02-02 01:25
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Denny said,

August 9, 2007 at 3:47 pm

In my opinion, I think it would be advantageous for the entire alt-community to hold more non-alt-centric events. While much can be said for celebrating the differences between people, much can also be said for celebrating the similarities as well.

I think it would not only boost non-activist gay attendance to events, but also the attendance of non-biased straight people as well; to hold events with a wide variety of topics. All the while making it obvious that the events are supported by your organization, and providing information to whoever is interested.

It would do a few things. It would reinforce the idea that gay people are people too, with similar interests, similar relationship problems. It would dissuade the notion that openly gay people are only interested in other openly gay people. Also it would provide a non-oppressive outlet for people who are gay, but not quite ready to come out of the closet, to get more information on the local community without being bombarded with pressure.

By all means hold gay-centric events, but I would think not allowing that to limit yourself would do more in the long run for the cause of showing people, both gay and straight, that while people may be different, we are also the same.
Reply
# Ebellle 2010-02-02 01:26
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Ebelle said,

August 9, 2007 at 4:51 pm

In all honesty, having dated my girlfriend for almost a year now, I never felt the need to explore the GLBT community in Singapore at all. It was only thru the urging of a lesbian friend who insisted that I attend Indignation that I discovered the local community.

After having attended 3 Sayoni – Indignation events, I found myself wondering the exact same thing that lublub has posted. And the realisation was that being gay doesn’t necessary have to encompass your entire life. For myself and my girlfriend, we never focus on the fact that we are lesbian/bisexual. We have a fairly normal relationship, with me having moved into her family home and our familes interacting with us as per normal. Because we are so fortunate to have the acceptance of both our family, friends and even collegues, we’ve never felt the need to become activists or rather to proclaim loudly to the rest of the world how in love we are.

I managed to drag my best friend with me to the first Indignation event that I attended, although I’m pretty sure I would have gone alone if she hadn’t agreed. But what I experienced there made me feel that because everyone already knows everyone in the community, its fairly hard to break into the “clique”. Of course I posted this on the Sayoni forums and have now been introduced to alot of people. However, I wonder about the other people who may actually have a need of a support group and came to the Indignation events searching for that, but found it so intimidating, they left without another look and may be right back in the closet.

Having said all that, I can understand the needs of those who have not been so fortunate in their coming out process, or even those who are unable to come out due to professional or personal reasons. As a professional event organiser myself, I believe there are some ways that future Indignation events can be improved.

1) Publicity – I think that publicity for Indignation and PLU in general is fairly weak. I remember looking for local GLBT resources once and realising how hard it was to find anything local. However, on the flip side, all the banning by various local authorities recently HAS helped the cause by letting the public know that such an activist group exists and those who have been sitting quietly on the sidelines may be spurred by the apparant discrimination to stand up and speak out for the community. What we can do about this is to arm members who are already part of the community with information that they can hand out to friends and the public to help heighten the publicity about PLU, Sayoni and Indignation. It could be small items such as a website banner, a calendar or even car decal stickers. These items don’t always have to cost alot of money and as the community grows, you can always seek donations from members or hold fund raising events ;)

2) Organisation – Good planning always leads to successful events. While I recognise the inherent weakness of human procrastination, I think if the events were planned out earlier and details hammered out, it would lead to better and earlier publicity which of course, leads to better turn out. Something I noticed was that the organising committee seemed to be made up of a very small group of people. While I agree that there should be a main committee, I think it would help if each event was headed by a specific event committee who have the expertise in that particular field.

3) Execution – To maintain interest in the events, the organisers had put together a series of very wide topics. I appluad their efforts on that. However, I think that the organisers failed to reach out to people DURING the events. I could see quite clearly that there were teams of people who were part of the organisers, plus volunteers and helpers. Then there was a seperate group of people who were simply sitting in various corners, and who left very soon after the events ended. Some of these people came alone, others came in pairs or trios. I think it would have been good if a “socialising” team was setup within the organisers whose only duty was to suss out these newcomers and get to know them. Having met alot of friendly people at the events, I am sure there are people who would volunteer for “noob” duty. This would help the shy people integrate into the community much more easily.

4) Post-mortem – Something that I think needs to be done is to ensure that people register for such events either before hand or when they turned up. Data mining is always crucial to understand how well an event was run. One way is to provide little feedback forms that people can fill in after the event and the data collated can be used to find out more about the audience who attended the event and what they hope to see improved in future events.

Ultimately, I believe that more people could get involved in the local scene if the proper methods was used to entice them to return for such events. In addition, the events don’t necessarily have to be completely about being GAY or LESBIAN. We could do more general social events such as movie screenings or cocktail networking parties. Even a family day at East Coast Park could be organised. The key to gaining more interest in such events is to first build the community. Once the community has been established, various types of events will definately cater to various people in the community. However, the receipe for success for each event will now always be the same.

By no means am I trying to tell anyone how to do their job, and I definately admire the people who have taken the pure effort of organising the events so far. I just believe that there is room for improvement and with a little bit of effort from everyone involved in the community, the improvements can be made fairly easily. Everyone could benefit from a more vibrant local GLBT scene and the more the community grows, the more steps we are taking towards being further integrated into society. I definately look forward to the day when PLU gets registered as an official organisation in Singapore and will definately want to be a proud member of it.
Reply
# Jjanice 2010-02-02 01:26
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janice said,

August 9, 2007 at 9:04 pm

hi ebelle. I hope to see you volunteer for the next glbt event.
Reply
# lublubB 2010-02-02 01:26
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lublub said,

August 9, 2007 at 11:08 pm

WOW Ebelle! *kowtows!*

That was some very constructive feedback! Mmm yeap, we still have a long road to walk on and as they say….’The biggest room in the world!… is the Room for Improvement’.

Thanks for your suggestions!

That said, I really agree with many of the points brought up.. and also, the idea about how sometimes… we might come across as rather insular as a community (too much navel-gazing perhaps?)
Reply
# humphh 2010-02-02 01:27
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humphh said,

August 10, 2007 at 2:23 am

Thank you ebelle for taking the time to write! I’ve been thinking about Indignation as well and some of what you said resonated with me. Very useful suggestions indeed and I believe Indignation will continue to improve with feedback like this. I think you can also expect Sayoni to consult you on event planning very soon.

Just one comment. I quote you, “Because we are so fortunate to have the acceptance of both our family, friends and even collegues, we’ve never felt the need to become activists or rather to proclaim loudly to the rest of the world how in love we are.” The thing is, by the time you figure the need for equality in certain areas like hospital visitation rights, adoption rights, spousal/dependency allowance etc etc, it’ll be too late to “fight” for them. I’m not sure what you consider activism but I just do whatever little things I can to help out in whatever little ways, and I don’t call it anything really. I just know that there are things that need to be done and people need to do them.

See you more at future Sayoni events?
Reply
# merlion 2010-02-02 01:27
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merlion said,

August 10, 2007 at 6:01 am

the community is imaginary and will never reach out to every gay person. let’s accept that as a fact. no matter how well clinton campaigns, and no matter how strong a leader she is, there will always be a group or groups of people who won’t ever vote for her? why? because it’s human nature to be diverse.

the fact that a significant number turned out is already testimony to the good work the glbt “community” is doing. i applaud sayoni’s work and look forward to attending future events. while it may never be possible to reach out to everyone, i’m sure the feedback you received will help you create better programs next year.

just don’t be too disappointed.
Reply
# Jjanice 2010-02-02 01:27
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janice said,

August 10, 2007 at 11:00 am

I am following this thread with interest. I disagree with merlion but must give credit to his kind words. Just because the community doesn’t vote for you does not mean they are imaginary. This is really bad analogy.

I agree that it will never be possible to reach out to everyone, thinking along those lines are really pure madness. There will always be people who are comfortable in their shells with acceptance all around but lose sight of the bigger things that’ll come hit them much later in life. They don’t really ‘need’ the community but please don’t whine about how difficult it is for you in events. Did you take the initiative to talk to someone else? Imagine how difficult it is for the others to talk to you too. Most people warm up slowly and it’ll take a little more interaction before friends will be made. I suggest ebelle walk the talk.
Reply
# cady aka sensei 2010-02-02 01:27
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cady aka 'sensei' said,

August 10, 2007 at 11:59 am

Janice, I�ll dispense with the formalities and go straight for the jugular. :)
3 things:
1. Akiko wasn�t being bitchy. Slight sarcasm yes but all in good spirit.
2. merlion whose gender is not apparent but you seem to assume it�s a �he� � anyway, I don�t think SHE gave a �bad� analogy. �imaginary� in a philosophical context not so much literal.
3. trust me, ebelle can definitely put her $ where her mouth is. i will be happy to help her organise a social event to show how it CAN be done to the extent we know how and are trained. not necessarily volunteer for glbt events because of work commitment & travel schedule.

I�m of the opinion that everything said here is constructive and everyone has good intentions. Don�t look for things that are not there.

No one is trying to show off, most forum members are professionally trained in certain skill sets. It only makes sense to draw the best skill sets and assemble a very strong event team to make future events even more successful.

No one is taking anything away from anyone- kudos remains the event committee�s- great job no doubt.

We are all part of this greater population called the world. Community or not, everyone is just looking for their place in this world. Convergence should be voluntary or simply a fateful meeting. In my business meetings, my Asian customers always greet me with �we are grateful to destiny for bringing us together, it is our pleasure to meet you.� I never ceased to be moved by those simple but sincere words, coming from people who have lived far longer and seen more of the world than I can ever imagine.

Why can�t we, women of women, minority of minority, band together, shed the territorial tendencies, let go the insecurities, keep the defensive mechanisms at bay, and just EMBRACE each other for the diverse and complex individuals we all are?

We don�t have to talk about everything glbt, we can just as well talk about Clinton campaign or how the DOW 387-pt nosedive is affecting our portfolio?

sorry for the verbal diarrhoea
Reply
# AAntoinette 2010-02-02 01:28
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Antoinette said,

August 10, 2007 at 2:55 pm

Good on ya Ebelle!!

Seeing as how you have a lot (and might I add very good) suggestions on how to better improve Indignation, hopefully we can get to incorporate/see something by Indignation 2008?

Quote :” For myself and my girlfriend, we never focus on the fact that we are lesbian/bisexual. We have a fairly normal relationship, with me having moved into her family home and our familes interacting with us as per normal. Because we are so fortunate to have the acceptance of both our family, friends and even collegues, we�ve never felt the need to become activists or rather to proclaim loudly to the rest of the world how in love we are.”

I think the point of the forums etc. for Indignation is not only to create awareness of the GLBTQ community, but also to create enough awareness such that those of us who are fortunate enough to have it good (in terms of acceptance etc.) will know how best we can help out in the community, be it big or small contributions – help people who are probably not as fortunate as us.

Quote: “After having attended 3 Sayoni – Indignation events, I found myself wondering the exact same thing that lublub has posted. And the realisation was that being gay doesn�t necessary have to encompass your entire life.”

Personally I don’t see being queer as something that encompasses every aspect of my life – I have equal numbers of straight and queer friends, i work in an equal opportunities environment, I do do things in my everyday life that are generally non-GLBT oriented, and my family (although somewhat still in denial) has learnt to accept me for who and what i am. But, like humph, I feel that there are still things that need to be done, not just for now, but for the future – and yes, I don’t know what your idea of activism might be like, but for sure I am doing as much as i can with whatever little precious time I have for the community. And I am doing it not just for myself, but so that those who are currently fortunate to have almost everything in place for them, in the future can also have accessibility to benefits and rights that are currently only accessible to straight people in this straight-laced world. Sometimes not even all the money in the world can get you everything you need.

Quote: “But what I experienced there made me feel that because everyone already knows everyone in the community, its fairly hard to break into the �clique�. Of course I posted this on the Sayoni forums and have now been introduced to alot of people.”

Maybe next time you should try the format of approaching people instead of waiting to be approached? I’m pretty sure that was what sensei did when she introduced herself to me. Or were you hesitant because of preconceived notions based on external feedback? Sorry, but I’m really quite curious about this – on a personal level when i first came back into active mode in the community middle of last year, I was very hesitant to approach people (not because of preconceived notions, but because I had been out of the community for about 2-3 years and lost touch with many things).

Quote: “However, I wonder about the other people who may actually have a need of a support group and came to the Indignation events searching for that, but found it so intimidating, they left without another look and may be right back in the closet.”

Is that a fact? Is this the view of others you spoke to at the forums or was it something that you expected from the events as well? Maybe you’d like to make changes to this in next year’s events?

Quote: “Having said all that, I can understand the needs of those who have not been so fortunate in their coming out process, or even those who are unable to come out due to professional or personal reasons. As a professional event organiser myself, I believe there are some ways that future Indignation events can be improved.”

So then we can look forward to your active input next year?? YAY!!

Quote :” I definately look forward to the day when PLU gets registered as an official organisation in Singapore and will definately want to be a proud member of it.”

That’s actually part of what humph, myself and others are trying to do – doing our very little bit here and there, so that one day organisations like PLU will get registered officially.

I apologise in advance if this posting seems rather harsh, but I like to be brutally honest so that everyone involved knows where im coming from, rather than to have them think that I’m being territorial (I don’t subscribe to territorial pissing) and whatnot.
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# AAntoinette 2010-02-02 01:28
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Antoinette said,

August 10, 2007 at 3:03 pm

Quote : “trust me, ebelle can definitely put her $ where her mouth is. i will be happy to help her organise a social event to show how it CAN be done to the extent we know how and are trained. not necessarily volunteer for glbt events because of work commitment & travel schedule.”

We look forward to one of your social events – work commitment and travel schedule shouldn’t be a problem if you are dedicated enough, I feel.
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# AAntoinette 2010-02-02 01:28
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Antoinette said,

August 10, 2007 at 3:12 pm

Quote ” Denny said,
August 9, 2007 at 3:47 pm
In my opinion, I think it would be advantageous for the entire alt-community to hold more non-alt-centric events. While much can be said for celebrating the differences between people, much can also be said for celebrating the similarities as well.”

Perhaps forming a Gay-Straight Alliance group to take care of such events?

I think the point of Indignation is to celebrate GLBTQ pride – pride in being part of the GLBTQ community, pride in being who you are.
Maybe just like how we Singaporeans celebrate National Day and show off our pride in being Singaporeans?
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# luvktv 2010-02-02 01:28
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luvktv said,

August 11, 2007 at 9:45 am

saw this blog posted on signel by kelly and finally had the time to read it through.

Pardon me, my English has been getting from bad to worse these days. So, apologies if some phrasings or words sound odd or very singlish.

I have to agree that, being a social event, quiet, introverted, shy, and non-chatty folks tend to be left out. This happens to all forums. But I have to emphasize that it’s a PLU forum. For the girls, I’m not sure. But for the guys, we usually stick to our group of already-known friends and catch up with them.

Seldom, we will go up to an individual and initiate a chat, as this definitely gives the impression that we are interested in that individual.

At the event, I saw a friend, sitting with his. Towards the end, I noticed that his friend had left, leaving him alone. So I chatted a while with him. Then he went to admire (Not sure if it’s really an admiration session, or just a kill-time thing to see if anyone else will go and kill his boredom) those paintings. The next thing I know, he’s gone. Then I went ahead with the socialising dinner.

Has anyone thought of, approaching such individuals, talking to them to make them more at ease/home? And finding out, other than courtesy views, what makes them come to the events? And whether it helped them, and their views of such events? At the talk, only a few spoke up. Some of them could be shy ones, who preferred to keep their views softer.

And, as al mentioned, the location is way, way off. Sorry to emphasize so much on it. If I had not a role to perform that day, I’d not have bothered taking a cab there.

I’m probably one of those who don’t give a damn on how people view me. So, lastly, to me, attending this event is not really a coming out session. It’s more of a finding out more about issues relating to us. If others’ views tend to be subjective, they still have a long way to go. ‘Cos attending such events never equate you to anything, other than someone who is interested in the topic.

Yes, participants of this forum are likely to be folks who tend to have strong views. There are also those who simply just want to live on, no matter how the govt clamps down on them. If we are catering to the latter group, a location with more easily accessible public transport has to be considered..

kevin
Reply
# Ebellle 2010-02-02 01:29
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Ebelle said,

August 12, 2007 at 8:58 pm

Just got back from the OCW and Sayoni organised “Your relationships & you” workshop which I found to be very enlightening. Definitely learnt something about myself and how I am in relationships.

In response to everyone who has suggested that I “walk the talk”, I am not adverse to helping out if there is something I could do that is within my expertise. However, I’m not able to devote all my time and energy into it due to the nature of my job and my relationship/family commitments. I could give suggestions and even use some of the resources that are available to me through my job, but I wouldn’t be able to give a commitment to becoming an “activist” of sorts.

I DO believe in doing my bit for the community by educating the people I meet on why they shouldn’t be homophobic. And I believe in a very open and honest approach to the people around me. I think I’ve been happily “out” and I feel that in itself is already contribution in a small way. For the fundamental problems that me and my partner may face in the future, we have talked about it, but feel that we do not need to be “married” per se to enjoy our partnership. Ultimately, while we know we will face problems that heterosexual couples would not even have to think about, we are ready to tackle those issues as they appear. (And if all else fails, we could always move offshore instead)

On a side note: The venue hasn’t been an issue for me as it is walking distance from my home. However, I can understand how its a problem for others. A simple solution would be to setup a shuttle service to and from an MRT station (I’m sure alot of volunteers drive and could offer their services for about half hour before and after each event) Or, we could just hire a shuttle bus at $40/trip.

Having said all that, I’m glad I went to the events and I will try to attend future events if time permits. As for helping out at next year’s Indignation, we’ll see ;)
Reply
# al 2010-02-02 01:29
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al said,

August 13, 2007 at 10:34 am

But Kevin, it’s not like there were venues all lined up to volunteer. ;) Sure, it’s a cause of difficulty and might have prevented some people from turning up, and that must be recognised, I feel, but we mustn’t go any further than that because of the lack of choice and of funding. Maybe I sounded too aggressive above; really, we can equally use that reason (i.e. inconvenience) to say ‘well, it can’t be helped, and everyone’s doing their best’ rather than ‘the location sucks, don’t hold any more’.

Seldom, we will go up to an individual and initiate a chat, as this definitely gives the impression that we are interested in that individual.

Eh, really….
Reply
# Ccamii 2010-02-02 01:29
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camii said,

August 19, 2007 at 4:39 pm

“Recently, I was speaking to a schoolmate of mine, and I asked her why she wasn�t coming. And she reasoned by stating, quite plainly, that when you boil the whole event down to its bare bones, its main function is that it is a social. That most people go to the events to mingle with others they know. ”

ditto! (:

i volunteered to help out for Indignation, but backed out at the last minute cos none of my friends were going. its such a waste, dont you think.
the whole idea was to go make more friends, with your friends.
we’re already a social minority, so the whole awkwardness thing shouldnt surface. i guess we should all have a strong bond, or something.

maybe next time (:
Reply
# Sayoni Speak 2010-02-02 01:29
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lesbian blog community » From Sayoni Speak (The Indignation Question) said,

December 14, 2007 at 3:06 am

[...] The Indignation Question. [...]
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