In short, yes, I believe my soul can now stop wandering after 34 years because as miracles would be, we’ve found each other, and that’s simply the only answer to anything we may wonder about life. If I could sum it up, my life now is a lot like how George Elliot once simply put it,

” It is never too late to become what you might have been.”

the last!

BRAVE NEW WORLD?

As for now, I can only take it a day at a time. My only wish is that by the time my kids are old enough to fully grasp the dynamics of their family life, they would also be able to understand that even their mother can be afraid of that monster who resides in her head, but she wants to be able to control it so that she can love them with all that she can and has.

So what do I envision for the years to come?
Most immediate is my wish to settle my divorce amicably and on terms where the children will have to suffer as little as possible. I have not disclosed how my ex-spouse dealt with the knowledge of my sexual identity crisis because it is too painful to write about, dredging up old demons best left buried in the past.

The practical considerations of our annulment would be how the custody of the children would be shared equitably, where future accommodations would depend on their school and my job.

To quote my ex-spouse, we hope that eventually the children would have not just two parents who love them dearly, but two others who would give them the added emotional support they need.

One can dream. And for now, that’s the sole intangible form of hope I have.