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  • 1


If you identify as queer, life has some very interesting perspectives and experiences in store for you. Personally, I always thought that if I had turned out to be straight, my life would be one very boring, straight-forward (pun fully intended) journey down a well-trodden path. I know that I wouldn’t compel myself to step out of my comfort zone. Life decisions were easy and would come to me on a platter. Go to secondary school, then junior college, then university. Then get a cushy executive job, find good-looking and rich husband. Settle down, have kids, get the 5 Cs. Done. That for a long time, was my modus operandi as a ‘straight’ person.

Suddenly, Life threw me a curve ball and my little peaceful snow-globe of reality was violently shaken. In an instant, everything was a blizzard. Following the storm of emotions and events that ensued, the landscape of life had changed. Someone, somehow, had moved my cheese. Things were not the same again.

And I guess the biggest change was the fact that I now live in two worlds.

One world was the politically correct one. In that world, I’m not out about my sexuality and I might even sometimes lie to people about my sexuality to keep it hidden (for the very fact that to put my neck out there is to jeopardize whatever I have). For example, office workers are usually not out about their sexuality to their co-workers. Or, some others choose not to be out to certain family members or friends for fear of rejection/condemnation. Thus, for one reason or other, we hide from people.

Then there is the opposite world. In that world, we wear our sexuality on our sleeves. We talk about it, engage in queer relationships and queer culture. We might immerse ourselves in the community and queer-themed events. Sexuality is not a taboo issue. In fact, it is celebrated. And the boys talk about boys and the girls talk about girls.

Thus there are distinct separate realities in which I live. I know that for some luckier people, this is not the case. They have both gay and straight friends in their social circles, and the topics of sexuality can come up without the fear of discrimination or narrow-mindedness. Or some may say that their sexuality is a non-issue for them and thus do not feel the need to come out to anyone in particular, so long as they are happy. Therefore some may protest my belief that as gay people, we live in two worlds. However, it’s all a matter of definitions, I consider gay-friendly straight friends as being a part of the gay-side of life. And even if you don’t consider your sexuality an issue, this aspect of your life manifests itself publicely only under certain conditions. And more often that not, it’s under gay-friendly conditions. So aren’t there two sides to the coin then? The safe one and the not-so safe one.

What I consider to be the ‘politically correct’ world, is the world in which systemic homophobia exists. Whereby you watch the words you use and be careful to call your girlfriend ‘partner’, instead of the more former, direct feminine noun. The situations whereby you artfully dodge your relatives’ questions of, ‘When are you going to get married?’. Or when people ask if you are attached or have a boyfriend, you give mysterious cryptic replies. It wouldn’t be too far-fetched to say that most of us have faced such a world.

These days, I perceive my reality as having two worlds. The ‘gay world’ and the ‘straight world’. Sometimes I hang out with gay people, sometimes with straight people. But never (or rarely) both together. Sometimes my gay world and my straight world collides, and I get so excited at such a phenomena because it’s almost surreal. (Like when my ex-J C schoolmates stumbled upon the book reading of SQ21 at Borders, I whispered to them that, ‘Gay people are all around you.’ and they ask me, ‘No kidding?’) And I wonder when I’ll ever bridge that divide. Some others have reached that stage, whereby there is substantial common ground between their worlds. But right now for me, it’s still glaringly apart.

—————

I guess that’s why a lot of us identify with superheroes. Just as how superheroes reveal one dimension of themselves in the day and another dimension of themselves in the night. So do gay people. Some can say that straight people also hide certain aspects of themselves in different situations. Well, that is true. But I would say that gay people feel this more acutely than straight people do. Because the phenomena of homophobia tends to be more universal than other less distinct prejudices.

———

That’s why I ain’t dreaming when I see more gay people than straight people watching X-Men with the rest of us. After all, we’re all superheroes in a way.

 

Comments   

# Nnei 2010-02-02 02:28
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nei said,

December 28, 2006 at 3:25 pm

Heh, well, X-Men happens to be a very queer movie. I thought the second instalment was especially strong in that area; the whole film could be seen as an allegory for being gay or transsexual, showing how well or badly people can adjust and how important it is to get support.

But yes, it does make me feel special sometimes. :) It’s as important, though, to not go overboard with the glorification, because people often value superheroes more than they do gay people.
Reply
# victoriasecret 2010-02-02 02:28
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victoriasecret said,

December 29, 2006 at 12:23 am

Hmm.. i think happy feet is also a good example. Someting different is not necessarily bad. =)
Reply
# gay-friendly 2010-02-02 02:29
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gay-friendly straight friend said,

December 29, 2006 at 1:15 am

Well X-Men was about a minority group (mutants) being discriminated by the masses, so I guess it does relate rather well to the plight of homosexuals in our society.
Reply
# jjade 2010-02-02 02:29
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jade said,

December 29, 2006 at 10:49 am

work in the creative industry! viva la vie boheme!
Reply
# Gay spaces 2010-02-02 02:29
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Gay spaces « Onwards said,

December 30, 2006 at 2:22 pm

[...] Gay spaces 30Dec06 For many, the gay world and straight world cannot co-exist. But not if you work in the creative industries. Here, gay people thrive in their element and are accepted as the norm. To be anything else would be . . . different. [...]
Reply
# michstick 2010-02-02 02:29
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michstick said,

January 2, 2007 at 5:08 pm

i used to read and (still) collect the series of uncanny x-men comics when i was younger.. and i always related to its kind(mutants) and stories. I’ve always wanted to be a supervillan.
this is how i see it…

the x-men are like the minority becoming superheros, and its last movie, the last stand was like a metaphor about intolerance, whether against minorities homosexuals or… ppl with a third nipple.

Anyways the comic stories can be very close to home.. Especially like how the state would go about encouraging discrimination against mutants and how parents or loved ones would react when they find out ‘our’ true identity.. the shame and fear they feel. To me there is this underlying story about fearing the different and embracing it. The comic book tells the story across a number of issues, and with imagination you could get more in-depth.. more than with the movie..

There is also acceptance from people like Prof. Xavier and his mutant academy.. thats like when u find people like us and form friendships. ;)

Then there is the Ultimate universe in another series of x-men comics where Wolverine and Colossus were lovers.. Wolverine was Bi and Colossus Gay. Actually not very surprising also cus throughout the comic, Colossus has always been one of the most gentle mutants in X-men even more than Beast..

Oh yea, in X-men 3 the Last Stand.. i think it struck a chord with plu also cus of the ex gay programs that ppl like Liberty league are doing.
In x-men the mutants who were not sure of their identity were contemplating on changin and losing their powers to be accepted by the public.. i think its similar to what some of us may have gone through or are going through, if given a choice would we give up our identity to be ‘accepted’ or ‘normal’…
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