As I met more and more gay people, and knew some of them deeper, I began to create that ‘constructed family’ of support. I stopped feeling alone. And the truth is, you are not alone. You never were. There have always been queer people around you and always will be. Teachers, nurses, doctors, lawyers, aunties, cleaners, students, whatever. It’s just that we don’t know each other, you see? =) (By the way, the person who x-rayed me when I suffered a fall was gay, and I knew her.)
They gave me courage, and the reassurance I needed. I started coming out more easily and more randomly. I started caring less about how others would react and came out primarily because I wanted them to know me for who I really am. I came out to people whom I’had known’for less than a week. I even brought my straight friends to an all-inclusive church which openly accepts gay people. I used to be afraid that other people would know, but now I’m no longer afraid. In fact, I’m pleasantly surprised and amused when anonymous JC school mates or long lost friends find out the real me through friends or blogs.
Today, I’ve stopped counting the number of people who know. Firstly, it’s a chore. And secondly, I have frankly lost count. I’ve told my mom and my sister. And after two and a half years, my coming out has come full circle back to where it started: At home, to the two hardest people I’ve had to admit my homosexuality to: Myself, and my mother.
And even though I can sit back now and enjoy this little inner peace that I’ve created, I know it ain’t over yet. There is still the work place, and many more coming-outs to accomplish. But after all that I’ve gone through, nothing fazes me anymore.
Cos every time you come out to somebody new, you grow that little bit stronger.’ (And I think I’m quite ‘powderful’ right now.)
Comments
sky said,
February 21, 2006 at 7:37 pm
way to go ;)
have to admit the coming out to oneself was really tough
amor said,
February 24, 2006 at 5:53 pm
hey can i invite you to my friendster?
http://www.friendster.com/profiles/masikhay0704
i like your message
lublub said,
February 24, 2006 at 10:05 pm
Hello amor,
haha i suck at frenster big time. iF u wanna chat can always drop me a msg thru the sayoni forums. Go to the member listings, and msg me there.
=)
curled said,
February 26, 2006 at 12:23 am
fortunately i was in a v conducive env tt really encouraged and eased my coming out to myself… now tt dat smooth sailing bit is over and my conducive env has vanished…
i’ve been coming out to my straight frens recently… & when i read the bit abt “straight friends (even though they are accepting) can never truly understand what you�re going through” i was like YAAAAAA!!!
i think i shd seek out tt �constructed family� thing u mentioned…
lublub said,
February 26, 2006 at 3:11 pm
gogogo! Its a release to talk abt queer stuff to REAL queer ppl. =) Whoosh~~
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